Most of my blogs are written in advance, prayed over, then released. I do that because what I place here has to be birthed out of my relationship with God… what I hear Him saying, and my willingness to yield (surrender) as a vessel for Him to speak.
Lately, though, I am still discovering my voice again here on this platform.
I heard God say clearly: make it personal.
In the past, my blogs have often been inspired by sermons, books, and the wisdom of others. But this time, I sensed Him leading me differently. To reach certain people, I have to share parts of myself—real moments, real struggles—so others know they are not alone.
This journey isn’t always easy. Some battles are hard fought. But I believe that with Jesus, God makes life that much sweeter… even in the middle of pain.
The death of my dad—and how he died—made me angry. Deeply angry. I was 4.
Then came more loss. More grief. More questions.
It wasn’t until my early 20s that I picked up the Bible for myself and began to read it… really read it. Although, I had a difficult time understanding it at first.
My mom used to tell me stories about when I was little, how I would throw shoes at her, even locked her in the closet once. Things I don’t remember. My dad’s death impacted me, and I in return became angry, and began to move in silence.
When triggered… that anger would come rushing out. And right behind it, the tears!
There were moments when others didn’t understand me, they didn’t understand the tears. That was until my aunt (my mom’s youngest sister) said, “This is the anniversary of her dad’s death.” And to others that made sense.
Growing up on the south side of Chicago, I got into fights. I was quiet, and kept to myself – which probably made me a target. But, when faced with an opportunity to fight, I never back down. I carried that anger with me, releasing it in moments when I felt pushed or threatened.
Still quiet. Still somewhat shy. But also a young girl determined to, in her young mind, avenge a loss she didn’t fully understand.
The streets near where I lived on 79th were rough. My mom placed me in a elementary school that was outside of the district I lived in. She was a widow/single mother at the time, so I had to walk to and from school on my own. She gave me a determined path (which I would veer off of from time to time, exploring). I would walk more than ten blocks, let myself into our third-floor apartment, and sit with emotions I didn’t yet have the words to explain. I was a latchkey kid!
Looking back now, I can see it clearly…
God was keeping me.
Even then.
Through the anger.
Through the silence.
Through the fighting.
Through the tears.
And now, He’s calling me to share my story!
Because someone else needs to know—
you can come from broken places and still be made whole. You can carry anger and still find healing. You can lose, grieve, and question… and still find your way to God.
This one is personal for me!
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” – Romans 12:19
God’s transforming power is not a moment—it’s a journey. It’s found in the quiet surrender, the unseen prayers, the tears we thought no one noticed, and the healing we didn’t think was possible. He takes every broken piece, every hidden scar, every chapter we wish we could erase—and He rewrites it with purpose.
What once felt like endings were really beginnings in His hands.
I am living proof that God still restores, still redeems, still calls, and still covers. The girl who once tried to protect her heart by keeping people at a distance now understands that true safety is found in Him. The pain that once shaped my fear has now become part of my testimony. And the love I once struggled to receive, I now freely give—because of Him.
God is still writing my story.
And He’s still writing yours.
So wherever you find yourself today—in the middle, in the waiting, or starting over again, know this: your story is not finished. His pen has not left the page. And what He is writing will be far greater than anything you could have written on your own.
Trust the Author.
He makes all things beautiful… in His time.
“He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]—yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11 (amplified Bible)
