A day of reflection!
We returned home around 1 in the morning (quick turn-around trip to Kentucky), rested, attended 2nd service, then spent some quality time with our boys. It was a good day, and I was happy to see them (we missed seeing our daughter – but spoke with her earlier over the phone).
As I sit here reflecting over the day, what stood out most was a lesson my mom taught me – and how it impacted my life. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I do now.
When I was very young, my mom said to me; “I love you, but I want others to at least like you.”
You see this quiet, bright-eyed little girl pictured here (who lost her dad at a very young age) enjoyed the quiet, enjoyed being alone; reading, writing & drawing abstract art (and, still do).
My mom wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, meet, and make some friends – and I gave her a hard time over that. I was content to just to be with my family, and Jesus – my very best friend (I would often call him).
Through elementary, high school and college, God did bring me some good friendship – without me trying! He just did. Becoming an adult (those early years) – I wasn’t trying to make any new friends (my circle stayed small- my heart didn’t have room enough for any more – Married with 3 kids, at the time, that was hard enough to manage).
Quick Sidenote: I dated 3 guys through High School – the 3rd one I met at 16, we married shortly after (and, this June, we will celebrate 37 years of marriage – it hasn’t always been easy but it has definitely been worth it with us putting God in 1st place, and making Him the Lord of our Lives | I’d say, we’ve got a lot to be thankful for.
Back to the story: A little over 25 years ago, my husband’s job moved us here, to a new city. And, here comes my mom – “Marvlun, get out and make some new friends (she knew her daughter – and this was very frustrating to me).
Before we moved, we prayed with our former Pastor, and God directed us to a church in our new city. I tried getting to know a few people there, and was met with some opposition – which caused me to get over into people pleasing – in which God corrected almost immediately before it gained a foothold in my life (Joyce Meyers had a great series on this back in the day – I think I still have it somewhere around here).
I heard God speak; “seek me and I will bring you friends.” I did, and he brought some incredible friendships my way – ones where I could be myself (my sometimes funny, quirky, creative self). Those friendships came easy. The ones in which God put together. He didn’t need my help (trying to make it happen) – just a willing and open heart. I still cherish those friendships to this day!
One friend, in particularly, had such a genuine love for her family and for God. I loved being around her. We would talk on the phone and in-person for hours. We became the best of friends. We prayed with and for each other. Our husbands, and children got along – and enjoyed spending time together. Sadly, she and her family moved out of state and we kind of lost touch. It was a short, but impactful friendship. Man, I miss our talks about the goodness of God!
I found that the more I studied the word and spent time in prayer – God brought more incredible friendships into my life (not all on the same level of friendships but friends non the less). I learned the value of an inner circle (and that stays small).
The Covid season changed a lot of things in my life. One of which, was the death of my mom – not from covid. Now both my mom and my dad are no longer on this earth – wow, what a sobering thought. I found myself getting comfortable being at home, the quiet was a beautiful thing. Then came the call; we’re headed back into the office (and for me, on a new team). Man, did I get in my head about it. Yes, I am an over-thinker for sure.
“What if they don’t like me,” I heard myself say? Then (in my mind), I heard my mom’s word: “I love you, but I want others to at least like you…. ” What? I had to get alone with Jesus! Find comfort in His scripture…. “Not my will, but thy will be done!!!!” I let a few people nearly 25 years ago get into my head. “Not Today Satan.” And, guess what? My new team was – Amazing! That FEAR – was false evidence appearing real. Our friendships formed easy, and I enjoy being around these amazing humans!
My mom was right to encourage me out of my comfort zone (not too sure about that being liked part, though).….
To Love God and To Love His People is my heart’s desire/my spiritual mandate! That and standing firmly in His (God’s) Will for my life (not mine). Satan tries to distort our vision. He tries to keep us from seeing others as God sees them. He is the Father of Lies. Those that are God’s -knows His voice, and another they will not follow!
John 10:27
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
I enjoy celebrating wins, praying and encouraging my friends. I have found that it is okay if others misunderstand me or even question my motives for showing Kingdom Kindness (not just being nice to be nice but having The Fruit of the Spirt on display). “Kingdom Kindness, is not in-love with being liked!” Dharius Daniels
I am committed to being someone who comes in and brings Love, Laughter & Joy into the atmosphere and not Hate, Jealousy and/or Strife! My prayer is to leave people better than I found them. And, that they know that they are loved.
My mother taught me the value of kindness, and the necessity of perseverance. She instilled in me a strong sense of responsibility and the importance of always working to do good to others. I may not always get it right (smile, eyes on Jesus).
My mother loved me! Her wise words were meant to build, to encourage – although, I did not see it that way, at that time in my life.
Here is how I see friendship through the lens of the Bible:
Proverbs 27:17
”Iron sharpeneth iron; so, a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
This Bible verse about friendship reminds us that friends can impact how we think, feel and behave! Our relationships are important! #MadeNewInChrist #Surrendered
